The Last Word on... Becoming An Uncle

Last month my brother and his wife gave birth to the most beautiful baby ever, my niece Daniele Angela. And since that moment on March 27th at 3:24 in the afternoon, I have become the guy that I used to make fun of.  When a person used to come up to me and rave about their niece or nephew telling me how beautiful they were I would laugh as they walked away at their ridiculous behavior, now I revel in it.  It’s easy though, since my niece is gorgeous.

People were concerned that, this being my first niece, I would spoil her and they were right.  My girlfriend, Christyn and I showed up with gifts a blazing at her first party last weekend.  I was so excited as I brought in the last gift, a high chair still in its crate, that I almost knocked the baby’s mother over with it. As I set it down, she said “hey, that big thing almost knocked me over” to which I replied “watch where you’re going Christyn!

Hoping to get my lovely niece to follow in the footsteps of her Uncle Geno, I have already begun to lavish her with gifts that I hope will bring out her inner artist. First off, since I know every little girl wants to be a dancer, I have already purchased Daniele a brass pole for the living room because, let’s face it, you’re never too young to learn a trade. My sister-in-law protested of course.  I guess she’s afraid I’m going to spoil Daniele and that she should learn at the pool hall like her mother did. 

As a child growing up my parents often spoke Italian in our household and to this day I still regret never picking up the language.  In an attempt that my niece should not suffer the same fate, I purchased several baby books that teach the Italian alphabet, numbers, and first words.  This time, my brother protested insisting she needed to learn Spanish in this day and age.  I assured him that Daniele would pick that up once she started dating.

And I know I will fall into the same pitfalls of thinking my niece is the smartest baby ever.  “Did you hear that, she said ‘lamppost!’  No geno, she burped while sneezing, that’s what that sound was idiot.  I still insist if you listen to her cry, you can hear the faint sound of “-cle geno” in her wails. Along the other line of the over-infatuated uncle is the reasoning his niece should be a baby model.  All babies are gorgeous to their family, but let’s not throw them in everyone else’s face.  My parents knew I was an ugly baby. When my aunt asked my mother if she thought about using me as a model my mother replied, “Sure Olga, maybe we could do a beach shoot to really show off his webbed toes!” Even as I write this, my family is still waiting for my brothers “ baby-fangs” to fall out. 

I could go on about my family, I love them so but behind this humor there is something else to be learned.  I once said that each of us have the answers to all of our many questions inside of us, we just need help finding them and it is my little niece who answers my biggest one every time I look into her eyes. 

Why do we question, why do we fear, who do we anything?  Why can we not just be? When did we forget how to be born into the beauty of each and every moment?   We spend our entire life searching for something, for anything and for everything with all that we do-- sometimes so hard that we lose sight of all the beauty that lies before us. 

And I am as guilty as any of us. 

I spend every day of my life doing and doing and doing until I don’t even remember what I am running to or from.  And then I place my niece on my chest for two hours a week and do nothing but watch her.  And I am so happy I can’t stand it. I am constantly at the point of bursting into tears at her beauty and perfection and all that she helps me to find in myself.  In that always too brief period as Daniele lies on my chest, I share each new moment with her as she answers all my questions and calms all my fears.

As I watch her sleep, she teaches her uncle that I need do nothing but be, and be happy in the nothing that is everything.  As she squeezes my side with her tiny, perfect hand, she reminds her uncle geno to return to all the beauty that can only be experienced in this very moment.  And as she rediscovers her perfect little foot that has amazingly reappeared again at the end of her leg, she asks her uncle what is so important about his credit card bills, his job, and every other thing he has created to tie himself in knots about that can be more exciting than that. “Don’t you see it Uncle geno!” asks her wide-eyed look.

Her uncle can’t answer; he forgot the beauty in the everything of the nothing that she knows. And he aches for her as he knows that someday too she will be cursed with all this intelligence we believe we gain by growing up. But he hopes someday she has a child as brilliant as her to remind her what she has taught him today. 

And when I foolishly again believe I know everything, Daniele has one more thing to teach me. As I hold her, I am certain that I am the happiest man on earth, only to look up and see my brother looking at his daughter in my arms.  I am the second happiest.

 xoxo
     -g

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